Talking about Love…

As the Valentine's day week draws to a close, mildly popping up the affection in many relationships as well as the retail economy, I couldn't but help reflect on a specific situation in Ramayana where Sage Valmiki very deftly paints contrasting pictures of the different kinds of love. The situation I am talking about is in the end of Ayodhya Kanda when Dasaratha decides to declare Rama as the next King. All hell breaks loose with Queen Kaikeyi, instigated by her maid Manthara, pulls up a political coup to get Rama banished to the forest and her son Bharatha installed as King. Tragedy follows with Rama, Sita and Laxmana going to the forest  and Dasaratha dying from being unable to bear the grief. Bharatha who admonishes his mother for her selfish act, refuses to be the King and reigns as a representative of Rama awaiting his return. This being the scenario,  let's take a look at the different types of love, at varying levels of their nobility, that get played out.

At the lowest level is Dasaratha's love for Kaikeyi. Kaikeyi was the most beautiful amongst Dasaratha's queens and his favorite. On a day of great joy for him, Dasaratha seeks Kaikeyi out to share his happiness of declaring Rama as King. All his great affection for Kaikeyi comes crashing when she invokes her right to the three boons he had promised her and asks for Rama's banishment and Bharata's coronation as King. Unfortunately for Dasaratha, Kaikeyi's beauty was only skin deep.

Next comes Kaikeyi's love for her son, Bharatha. Kaikeyi obviously loved her son more than anything in the world and wanted the best for him. Though easily condemned by many, she probably didn't do anything  worser than what many parents would do today to ensure success for their children. Obviosly Kaikeyi's love for her son was purely selfish and she sacrifices Dharma to satisfy her greed. For this foolish act, Kaikeyi ends up paying the price of losing what she valued most in life, the love and affection of her own son, and lives rest of her life in utter contempt from everyone around her.

At the next level is Dasaratha's love for his son, Rama. Interestingly, Valmiki says that Dasaratha who collapses from grief becomes physically blind after Rama leaves for forest. It  sounds like a great metaphor for the blind love Dasaratha had for his son that in turn becomes the unbearable grief which finally kills him. Dasaratha's love for Rama was nobler than the love Kaikeyi had for Bharatha, but Valmiki is not definitely depicting it as what one should emulate.

Now consider the love Sita had for Rama. Kaikeyi's demand was for Rama to be banished to the forest and Sita definitely didn't have to accompany Rama. Born and brought up in utmost luxury, she probably would have been extremely terrified of living an ascetic's life in forest.  Interestingly, Valmiki says that when Rama, Laxmana and Sita are handed over the valkala to wear, Sita struggles to put on hers and is unable to get it on right until Rama helps her out. When Rama tells her that she doesn't have to go, Sita responds that as a wife, wherever Rama is, that will be her home. Sita's unswerving commitment to Rama again comes to test with Ravana, later on in Ramayana. This is the first of the examples of noble love that Valmiki depicts, a love that is coupled with a commitment to perform one's duty.

Sita was Rama's wife and considered it her duty to be with him. What about Laxmana? Why did he have to take up this ordeal, that too leaving his newly wed wife back in the palace? Laxmana's love for Rama is one of the highest in stature as it involves  the great element of servitude. Giving up the pleasures of life, he serves Rama at every step in the forest, building the thatched huts they live in and staying guard at night so that Rama and Sita could sleep in peace. Even in this noblest love and servitude of Laxmana, Valmiki finds a small defect. When Bharatha comes in search of Rama to request him to come back, Laxmana spots the entourage from a distance and suspects Bharatha is coming with an army to kill Rama. Laxmana strings his bow and gets ready to fight and is held back only because of Rama's good counsel. Alas, even the noblest of love can sometime make us blind!

And, thus Valmiki leads us to what he portrays as the noblest expression of all love - that of Bharatha to Rama. It would have been so easy to Bharatha to take up the Kingship citing the death of his father and the unfortunate exile of his elder brother. Instead, he tracks down Rama in the forest and tries his best to convince him to return. Finally, when it becomes certain that Rama wouldn't budge he carries back the pair of Rama's wooden sandals on his head and keeps them on the throne until Rama's return. Bharatha in fact doesn't rule from Ayodhya and sets up a capital in the village of Nandhigrama. He assumes the same ascetic life that Rama did and administers the country efficiently until Rama's return. Thus Valmiki concludes the Ayodhya Kanda of Ramayana, underlining the nobility of love that is coupled with genuine sacrifice.

Isn't it a great mystery of life that love gets expressed in so many ways, and some times at its best, in times of great misfortune rather than good times?