Valentine's Day Thoughts: What I remember from my wedding

It has been more than two decades but sweet memories of a wonderful day still linger. Apart from the happiness of family reunion and excitement of new relationships, few other aspects of the day are still fresh in mind. 

Hindu weddings, especially those in the traditions followed by the Brahmin community, can be extremely elaborate stretching over two days. I had probably spent a good six hours in front of the smoking sacrificial fire and uttered many mantras that I hardly knew the meaning of. Boy, how I wish I knew that would be the easiest part of married life :-)

Looking back, out of the many rituals that we had performed, few of them stand out to me as having been most meaningful. Many Hindu rituals have great meanings encoded within them, unsaid but left for us to discover on reflection. Here are some from my reflections:

1. Agni - God of Fire as witness: The marriage was solemnized by the God of Fire, symbolizing that as long as he stood in our body, this commitment that we were making that day would be honored
2. Vastra - Giving of attire:  We both gave each other our dresses that we wore for the ceremony. The dress is a symbol of our character and our values since it is through them that we present ourselves to the society. When we  gave each other the dress to wear, what we were symbolically doing was accepting each other's values into our lives. Isn't it true that only those marriages where the couple share the same core values last?
3. Haara - Garlanding: This  was not a quick exchange of garlands but an elaborate ceremony that involved exchanging at least three different kinds of garlands and also the challenge of reaching out to each other as we were often lifted up in air by the immediate family! This ceremony symbolized the adoration we held for each other that day. Some of that adoration may have worn out in the many years since, but I still think the core appreciation we had for each other has lingered.
4. Maangalya- The 'thaali' and tying of knot: This is one ceremony that every single  culture in India have adopted, irrespective of religion and geographical diversity, the Mangalya Sutra, the talisman on the necklace called 'Thaali', had two shiva linga shaped lockets in it, This to me where the  core of our hearts united on one string, When I tied that string around her neck, I was entrusting to her this great symbol of our union for safe keeping, close to her heart.
5. Saptapadi - The walking of seven steps: The tips of our dresses were tied together and holding her hand, I led her around the sacrificial fire taking an important first seven steps  of our journey together in life. Why seven? Because there are seven things that we had committed to share with each other: what we see, hear, smell, taste, touch, feel and think. This symbolic ritual meant a commitment to maintain total transparency with each other, another major aspect of marriages that last.
6. Akshathai - Receiving of blessings: It is a custom to handover a little raw rice, colored yellow in turmeric and a small piece of flower to every person elder to us among those who had come to the wedding. They sprinkled these on our bowed heads at the end of ceremony as a symbol of showering their blessings. A good starting lesson that our life is not necessarily made by just the effort of two of us but also the graceful support we have received from our families and friends

Next time you are in a Hindu wedding, watch closely. You may find more!